diff --git a/hermes_cli/_subprocess_compat.py b/hermes_cli/_subprocess_compat.py
index 66f0d90a0b..8a27dd3fca 100644
--- a/hermes_cli/_subprocess_compat.py
+++ b/hermes_cli/_subprocess_compat.py
@@ -44,6 +44,7 @@ __all__ = [
     "windows_hide_flags",
     "windows_detach_popen_kwargs",
     "bounded_git_probe",
+    "bounded_probe_run",
     "noninteractive_git_env",
 ]
 
@@ -442,6 +443,67 @@ def kill_process_tree(proc: "subprocess.Popen") -> None:
             pass
 
 
+def bounded_probe_run(
+    argv: Sequence[str],
+    *,
+    timeout: float,
+    errors: str = "replace",
+) -> "subprocess.CompletedProcess[str] | None":
+    """Deadlock-safe ``subprocess.run(argv, capture_output=True, timeout=...)``
+    for fail-open probe call sites. Returns a ``CompletedProcess`` when the
+    child finished within *timeout* (any exit code), or ``None`` on spawn
+    failure or timeout.
+
+    Why not ``subprocess.run``: on Windows, ``run()``'s post-timeout cleanup
+    calls an *unbounded* ``communicate()`` after killing the direct child.
+    Killing it can leave a descendant (``git.exe`` under a launcher shim,
+    ``conhost.exe`` under wmic/powershell) holding duplicates of the captured
+    stdout/stderr handles, so the pipes never reach EOF and the reader-thread
+    join blocks forever. The wmic / ``Get-CimInstance Win32_Process`` gateway
+    scan hit exactly this during ``hermes update`` on slow-WMI machines
+    (#87134); the git probes hit it first (#68609 / #66037).
+
+    The bounded flow: an explicit ``communicate(timeout)``, then on any
+    failure a tree-kill (see :func:`kill_process_tree`) plus a bounded 1s
+    post-kill drain; if the pipes are still held after that, they're abandoned
+    (the orphaned reader threads are daemonic and cost nothing).
+
+    The spawn contract mirrors the ``run`` calls it replaces: PIPE/PIPE/DEVNULL,
+    ``text`` with UTF-8 decoding (*errors* configurable — the process scans use
+    ``"ignore"``), and the hidden-window ``creationflags`` on Windows only. On
+    POSIX the child is placed in its own process group (``process_group=0``,
+    Python ≥3.11) so timeout cleanup can take down descendants with the
+    launcher instead of orphaning them.
+    """
+    _popen_kwargs: dict = {"creationflags": windows_hide_flags()} if IS_WINDOWS else {"process_group": 0}
+    try:
+        proc = subprocess.Popen(
+            list(argv),
+            stdout=subprocess.PIPE,
+            stderr=subprocess.PIPE,
+            stdin=subprocess.DEVNULL,
+            text=True,
+            encoding="utf-8",
+            errors=errors,
+            **_popen_kwargs,
+        )
+    except Exception:
+        return None
+    try:
+        stdout, stderr = proc.communicate(timeout=timeout)
+    except Exception:
+        # Timeout OR any other communicate() failure (torn-down pipe, decode
+        # error): terminate the child + descendants and drain bounded. Leaving
+        # it running would leak the same suspended-descendant class this guards.
+        kill_process_tree(proc)
+        try:
+            proc.communicate(timeout=1)
+        except Exception:
+            pass
+        return None
+    return subprocess.CompletedProcess(list(argv), proc.returncode, stdout, stderr)
+
+
 def bounded_git_probe(argv: Sequence[str], *, timeout: float) -> str:
     """Run a short, throwaway ``git`` probe and return stripped stdout, or ``""``
     on ANY failure (nonzero exit, timeout, spawn error, decode error).
@@ -474,33 +536,10 @@ def bounded_git_probe(argv: Sequence[str], *, timeout: float) -> str:
     openai/codex#36793). ``process_group`` only changes which group the child
     belongs to; it does not detach the terminal or alter the fast path.
     """
-    _popen_kwargs: dict = {"creationflags": windows_hide_flags()} if IS_WINDOWS else {"process_group": 0}
-    try:
-        proc = subprocess.Popen(
-            list(argv),
-            stdout=subprocess.PIPE,
-            stderr=subprocess.PIPE,
-            stdin=subprocess.DEVNULL,
-            text=True,
-            encoding="utf-8",
-            errors="replace",
-            **_popen_kwargs,
-        )
-    except Exception:
+    result = bounded_probe_run(argv, timeout=timeout)
+    if result is None or result.returncode != 0:
         return ""
-    try:
-        stdout, _ = proc.communicate(timeout=timeout)
-    except Exception:
-        # Timeout OR any other communicate() failure (torn-down pipe, decode
-        # error): terminate the child + descendants and drain bounded. Leaving
-        # it running would leak the same suspended-descendant class this guards.
-        kill_process_tree(proc)
-        try:
-            proc.communicate(timeout=1)
-        except Exception:
-            pass
-        return ""
-    return stdout.strip() if proc.returncode == 0 else ""
+    return (result.stdout or "").strip()
 
 
 # Backward-compat alias — existing call sites/tests import the historical name.
diff --git a/hermes_cli/claw.py b/hermes_cli/claw.py
index 8f58d9520e..8b78902a19 100644
--- a/hermes_cli/claw.py
+++ b/hermes_cli/claw.py
@@ -77,13 +77,19 @@ def _detect_openclaw_processes() -> list[str]:
 
     # -- process scan ------------------------------------------------------
     if sys.platform == "win32":
+        # bounded_probe_run: a plain subprocess.run(timeout=...) can hang
+        # forever on Windows in post-timeout cleanup when a conhost.exe
+        # descendant holds duplicated pipe handles (#87134) — and a hang is
+        # not an exception, so the try/except here can't save the caller.
+        from hermes_cli._subprocess_compat import bounded_probe_run
+
         try:
             for exe in ("openclaw.exe", "clawd.exe"):
-                result = subprocess.run(
+                result = bounded_probe_run(
                     ["tasklist", "/FI", f"IMAGENAME eq {exe}"],
-                    capture_output=True, text=True, encoding='utf-8', errors='replace', timeout=5,
+                    timeout=5,
                 )
-                if exe in result.stdout.lower():
+                if result is not None and exe in (result.stdout or "").lower():
                     found.append(f"process: {exe}")
 
             # Node.js-hosted OpenClaw — tasklist doesn't show command lines,
@@ -93,11 +99,11 @@ def _detect_openclaw_processes() -> list[str]:
                 'Where-Object { $_.CommandLine -match "openclaw|clawd" } | '
                 'Select-Object -First 1 ProcessId'
             )
-            result = subprocess.run(
+            result = bounded_probe_run(
                 ["powershell", "-NoProfile", "-Command", ps_cmd],
-                capture_output=True, text=True, encoding='utf-8', errors='replace', timeout=5,
+                timeout=5,
             )
-            if result.stdout.strip():
+            if result is not None and (result.stdout or "").strip():
                 found.append(f"node.exe process with openclaw in command line (PID {result.stdout.strip()})")
         except Exception:
             pass
diff --git a/hermes_cli/dashboard_procs.py b/hermes_cli/dashboard_procs.py
index 84bd48573e..3ee58ff266 100644
--- a/hermes_cli/dashboard_procs.py
+++ b/hermes_cli/dashboard_procs.py
@@ -76,21 +76,22 @@ def _scan_dashboard_processes(
             # here is errors="ignore": it prevents a reader-thread
             # UnicodeDecodeError from leaving result.stdout=None and turning
             # the later .split() into an AttributeError (#17049).
-            # CREATE_NO_WINDOW hides the conhost flash: this scan can run from
-            # the windowless pythonw.exe desktop/gateway backend during an
-            # update, where a bare wmic spawn would pop a console window.
-            from hermes_cli._subprocess_compat import windows_hide_flags
+            # bounded_probe_run (rather than subprocess.run with a timeout)
+            # keeps a slow scan from wedging the caller forever: run()'s
+            # post-timeout cleanup joins the pipe reader threads unbounded,
+            # and a conhost.exe descendant holding duplicated pipe handles
+            # blocks that join indefinitely (#87134). It also passes
+            # CREATE_NO_WINDOW: this scan can run from the windowless
+            # pythonw.exe desktop/gateway backend during an update, where a
+            # bare wmic spawn would pop a console window.
+            from hermes_cli._subprocess_compat import bounded_probe_run
 
-            result = subprocess.run(
+            result = bounded_probe_run(
                 ["wmic", "process", "get", "ProcessId,CommandLine", "/FORMAT:LIST"],
-                capture_output=True,
-                text=True,
                 timeout=10,
-                encoding="utf-8",
                 errors="ignore",
-                creationflags=windows_hide_flags(),
             )
-            if result.returncode != 0 or result.stdout is None:
+            if result is None or result.returncode != 0 or result.stdout is None:
                 return []
             current_cmd = ""
             for line in result.stdout.split("\n"):
diff --git a/hermes_cli/gateway.py b/hermes_cli/gateway.py
index 11eca304ec..cdfee12111 100644
--- a/hermes_cli/gateway.py
+++ b/hermes_cli/gateway.py
@@ -529,35 +529,35 @@ def _scan_gateway_pids(
             # Prefer wmic when present (fast, stable output format).  On
             # modern Windows 11 / Win 10 late builds, wmic has been
             # removed as part of the WMIC deprecation — fall back to
-            # PowerShell's Get-CimInstance.  Any OSError here (FileNotFoundError
-            # on missing wmic) trips the fallback.
-            # Hide the console window: this scan runs inside the windowless
-            # pythonw.exe gateway/desktop backend, so a bare wmic/powershell
-            # spawn would flash a conhost window on every watchdog probe.
-            from hermes_cli._subprocess_compat import windows_hide_flags
+            # PowerShell's Get-CimInstance.  A spawn failure or timeout
+            # (result is None) trips the fallback.
+            # The scans go through ``bounded_probe_run`` — NOT plain
+            # ``subprocess.run(timeout=...)`` — because on Windows ``run()``'s
+            # post-timeout cleanup joins the pipe reader threads unbounded; a
+            # descendant (conhost.exe) holding duplicated pipe handles then
+            # wedges the caller forever. ``hermes update`` hung exactly there
+            # on slow-WMI machines where the full Win32_Process scan exceeds
+            # its budget (#87134).
+            # bounded_probe_run also hides the console window: this scan runs
+            # inside the windowless pythonw.exe gateway/desktop backend, so a
+            # bare wmic/powershell spawn would flash a conhost window on every
+            # watchdog probe.
+            from hermes_cli._subprocess_compat import bounded_probe_run
 
-            _no_window = {"creationflags": windows_hide_flags()}
             wmic_path = shutil.which("wmic")
             result = None
             if wmic_path is not None:
-                try:
-                    result = subprocess.run(
-                        [
-                            wmic_path,
-                            "process",
-                            "get",
-                            "ProcessId,CommandLine",
-                            "/FORMAT:LIST",
-                        ],
-                        capture_output=True,
-                        text=True,
-                        encoding="utf-8",
-                        errors="ignore",
-                        timeout=10,
-                        **_no_window,
-                    )
-                except (OSError, subprocess.TimeoutExpired):
-                    result = None
+                result = bounded_probe_run(
+                    [
+                        wmic_path,
+                        "process",
+                        "get",
+                        "ProcessId,CommandLine",
+                        "/FORMAT:LIST",
+                    ],
+                    timeout=10,
+                    errors="ignore",
+                )
             if result is None or result.returncode != 0 or not (result.stdout or ""):
                 # Fallback: PowerShell Get-CimInstance, emit LIST-style output
                 # so the downstream parser below doesn't need to branch.
@@ -572,17 +572,12 @@ def _scan_gateway_pids(
                     "  '' "
                     "}"
                 )
-                try:
-                    result = subprocess.run(
-                        [powershell, "-NoProfile", "-Command", ps_cmd],
-                        capture_output=True,
-                        text=True,
-                        encoding="utf-8",
-                        errors="ignore",
-                        timeout=15,
-                        **_no_window,
-                    )
-                except (OSError, subprocess.TimeoutExpired):
+                result = bounded_probe_run(
+                    [powershell, "-NoProfile", "-Command", ps_cmd],
+                    timeout=15,
+                    errors="ignore",
+                )
+                if result is None:
                     return []
             if result.returncode != 0 or result.stdout is None:
                 return []
diff --git a/tests/hermes_cli/test_bounded_probe_run.py b/tests/hermes_cli/test_bounded_probe_run.py
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000..d2ea846f11
--- /dev/null
+++ b/tests/hermes_cli/test_bounded_probe_run.py
@@ -0,0 +1,112 @@
+"""``bounded_probe_run`` — deadlock-safe capture for fail-open probes (#87134).
+
+On Windows, ``subprocess.run(..., capture_output=True, timeout=N)`` can hang
+FOREVER after its timeout fires: run()'s cleanup kills the direct child and
+then joins the pipe reader threads with an unbounded ``communicate()``.  A
+descendant (``conhost.exe`` under wmic/powershell, ``git.exe`` under a
+launcher shim) holding duplicated pipe handles keeps the pipes from EOF and
+the join never returns.  ``hermes update`` wedged exactly there inside
+``_scan_gateway_pids`` on machines where the full ``Win32_Process`` scan
+exceeds its budget.
+
+``bounded_probe_run`` is the shared, generalized form of the fix that
+``bounded_git_probe`` already proved for git probes (#68609 / #66037):
+explicit ``communicate(timeout)``, tree-kill on failure, bounded 1s drain,
+then abandon.
+
+These tests use REAL subprocesses (no mocks) for the semantics: a mock cannot
+reproduce pipe-handle inheritance or timeout behavior.  The POSIX-only
+descendant-survival cases live in ``test_git_probe_tree_kill.py`` and now
+exercise the same code path through the ``bounded_git_probe`` delegation.
+"""
+
+import subprocess
+import sys
+import time
+
+import pytest
+
+from hermes_cli._subprocess_compat import bounded_git_probe, bounded_probe_run
+
+_PY = sys.executable
+
+
+def test_success_returns_completed_process():
+    result = bounded_probe_run([_PY, "-c", "print('ok'); import sys; sys.exit(0)"], timeout=30)
+    assert result is not None
+    assert result.returncode == 0
+    assert result.stdout.strip() == "ok"
+
+
+def test_nonzero_exit_is_returned_not_swallowed():
+    """Unlike bounded_git_probe, callers see the real returncode — the gateway
+    scan branches on ``returncode != 0`` to trip the wmic→powershell fallback."""
+    result = bounded_probe_run([_PY, "-c", "print('partial'); import sys; sys.exit(3)"], timeout=30)
+    assert result is not None
+    assert result.returncode == 3
+    assert result.stdout.strip() == "partial"
+
+
+def test_spawn_failure_returns_none():
+    result = bounded_probe_run(["definitely-not-a-real-binary-87134"], timeout=5)
+    assert result is None
+
+
+def test_timeout_returns_none_within_bounded_time():
+    """A child that sleeps past the timeout must produce ``None`` promptly —
+    timeout + tree-kill + 1s bounded drain, not an unbounded join."""
+    start = time.monotonic()
+    result = bounded_probe_run(
+        [_PY, "-c", "import time; time.sleep(300)"],
+        timeout=1.0,
+    )
+    elapsed = time.monotonic() - start
+    assert result is None
+    # 1s timeout + tree-kill + 1s drain + slack.  The pre-fix failure mode is
+    # an indefinite hang, so any bound proves the property; keep it loose for
+    # slow CI runners.
+    assert elapsed < 30
+
+
+def test_decode_errors_configurable():
+    """The process scans pass errors='ignore' (wmic emits system code page);
+    undecodable bytes must not raise or None out stdout (#17049 class)."""
+    result = bounded_probe_run(
+        [_PY, "-c", "import sys; sys.stdout.buffer.write(b'ok\\xff\\xfe')"],
+        timeout=30,
+        errors="ignore",
+    )
+    assert result is not None
+    assert result.returncode == 0
+    assert "ok" in result.stdout
+
+
+def test_stdin_is_devnull_not_inherited():
+    """A probe must never block reading the caller's stdin."""
+    result = bounded_probe_run(
+        [_PY, "-c", "import sys; print(repr(sys.stdin.read()))"],
+        timeout=30,
+    )
+    assert result is not None
+    assert result.returncode == 0
+    assert result.stdout.strip() == "''"
+
+
+def test_bounded_git_probe_delegates_same_contract():
+    """The historical git-probe wrapper keeps its exact contract on top of
+    bounded_probe_run: stripped stdout on rc==0, '' on any failure."""
+    assert bounded_git_probe([_PY, "-c", "print('  x  ')"], timeout=30) == "x"
+    assert bounded_git_probe([_PY, "-c", "import sys; sys.exit(1)"], timeout=30) == ""
+    assert bounded_git_probe(["definitely-not-a-real-binary-87134"], timeout=5) == ""
+
+
+@pytest.mark.skipif(sys.platform == "win32", reason="POSIX process-group check")
+def test_posix_child_gets_own_process_group():
+    """POSIX spawns use process_group=0 so timeout cleanup can killpg the
+    whole tree (same contract bounded_git_probe had)."""
+    result = bounded_probe_run(
+        [_PY, "-c", "import os; print(os.getpgid(0) == os.getpid())"],
+        timeout=30,
+    )
+    assert result is not None
+    assert result.stdout.strip() == "True"